The doctor (female) told me it was really my only choice because there would be severe handicaps (never saying baby or child) because I had been taking medication for an ear infection and then she asked if I had been drinking and taking drugs. When I said yes, she said she would set it up right away for me. I was 20 years old, separated from a marriage that hadn’t lasted 3 months and I believed her.
It was in a hospital as day surgery. The only thing I really remember was the doctor hanging over me saying that there had been a complication and I was farther along than he had said. He still sent me home at 5 or 6. I was in pain, both emotionally and physically. I bled heavily for a whole month. No one ever told me what to do or expect after. I was using 2 tampons and a pad and changing almost every hour. By the time I saw another OB-GYN I was infected.
I drank heavily. The man who is now my husband was a friend then and helped me a lot. Neither one of us were Christians then and I don’t know why he stayed by me because I was a mess. I hated men, was really trying to hurt them and me and I was on an emotional roller coaster. My body knew it had been robbed and my head couldn’t face up to it.
One year later I became a Christian. A lady helped me go through steps of healing and God’s forgiveness. Even so, I took about 5 years to really look at the whole situation and come to terms with it. I wrote the whole story out in detail for WEBA [Women Exploited by Abortion] and the final healing was done for me. Also one year after I researched everything I could find on being pro-life and have been very active ever since. We established a Crisis Pregnancy Center.
I had been raised as a Catholic and not to believe in abortion but the lie presented to me was like I had no choice. Things were already bad and I felt like I had been the cause of all the things that were going wrong. The doctor was at that point an authority figure to respect. I realize now that this was all Satan’s lies and that doctors are only human. The one and only thing that has really given me comfort over the years is to know that that baby will never suffer and that it is in the arms of Jesus. I have 5 other children and they have to go through trials and hardships but that baby will never feel anything but the perfect love of Christ. When I started grieving for that child (the wound….but the scars remain), I think about Jesus holding my baby and the pain isn’t quite so bad. Life is so precious – we can’t take it for granted.
Printed with permission from Priests for Life.